Jerit Teriak Laung

Jujur

Bukan hanya keluar dari mulut

Tapi jerit dari tingkah

Dan melantang dari tata yang tertib susila

Setia

Bukan hanya keluar dari mata

Tapi teriak dari genggam

Dan menerjah dari yang seiring seirama

Cinta

Bukan hanya keluar dari rindu

Tapi laung dari hati

Dan menggema dari bisik si pujangga

Bali - The Good, the Bad, and the Babi (literally)

A few months ago i got a call from a friend back home (let’s call him Camar for entertainment sake). He said to me in a not so husky voice, ‘To, ada tiket murah pigi Bali, macam?’. And my swift response was, ‘ok, bawa si XX’ (let’s call this one Dragon, yup Dragon). Days that went by, feels like eternity when u’re waiting and at last the day came, and this is our story.

I picked up Camar and Dragon from LCCT the night before our departure. We ran through our ‘itinerary’ one last time and we are set. I woke up early and literally kicked them to wake them up. We were getting ready and all excited. We arrived at LCCT early, when we checked in, the people at the counter selamba-ly told us that the flight has been postponed to the afternoon. Apakah neraka? 9wat de hell?). It was the longest 5 hours in our lives. But we kept our cool ehem.

We arrived at the airport. 3.9 million people in Bali plus 3 from Sabah. We were lookin around for our supir – Yanto. He wasn’t there. Camar told us to look for a person holding a sign with his name on it. Almost half an hour passed and there was no yanto, we called him and he said his brother is there to replace him. We looked around and still no signboards with Camar’s name on it. Then came this rather short uncle with a jazz hat on holding a sign that says DELAVEGA. ‘Ah dia la tu’ camar suddenly yelled. ‘Delavega?!’ Dragon and i shouted back, he forgot to mention to us he was using his Casanova nickname, brilliant right? Wrong. It seems he was there all along but me and Dragon passes him by because we thought it wasnt Camar’s name on his signboard (it was only a piece of paper actually). ‘Pak Nor’ he introduced himself, and we immediately drove off, time is of the essence here hehe. (Pak Nor is quite the character, which will be revealed later in this blog).

We arrived later in the afternoon and we have to change our plans a bit coz of the delay. So we went straight to Uluwatu for the sunset and to watch the Kecak Dance. I was wearing my shorts khakis, and apparently one have to wear longer pants to enter holy places, much like the mosque. But the staff are ready with brightly colored sarong, and Pak Nor immediately help me put a blue one on. We went straight down, and i noticed Pak Nor picked up a stick but i pay it no mind, later i found out it was to rid off any approaching monkeys who seems to be too ‘fond’ of people.

I saw one mat salleh almost lost his glasses because he was standing too close to a monkey, and the monkey grabbed it but it fell to the ground. We took some pictures with the monkeys and bought ourselves tickets for the Kecak Dance. It was full, ‘too full’ actually. They keep cramping people up to the floor. The ticket was around rm7, if memory serves. There are around  4 to 5 hundred people. And i ask Pak Nor how many times a week do they performed, and his answer was quite surprising, 364 days a year, every day a full house, with one day off (Hari Penyepian). RM7 x 500people x 365 = RM1,277,500.00! these guys are making a minimum 100k a month! That rate is for locals & Malaysians, for other foreigners its double or triple! Damn i should quit my job and join the crew.

Our seats are just nice overlooking the sunset, just right next to the cliffs. The show started around 6 and ends around 8plus, damn we were getting hungry. The Kecak Dance is a form of Balinese dance and some sort of a music drama depicting the story of Ramayana helped by Vanara (the monkey) to fight Ravana. It was brilliantly performed, and the naughty white monkey was a hell of a comedian.  The sunset was breathtakingly breathtaking haha.

We then move to jimbaran to have dinner at the beach on the sand. There was a show of traditional dance it was a new experience. The dancers are quite young. Dragon was having a good time haha.

After a big dinner, we went straight to Kuta, to matahari guesthouse, and was surprised that we were given a small room, Dragon ended up sleeping on the floor kui3. Camar and dragon went to look for a hotel, i suggested bakung sari hotel, which turns out to be 300m from matahari. They went there to make a booking. It turns out if you are a walk-in they are charging you USD80 per night, so Camar went back to matahari and make a booking from the internet (www.agoda.com.my) and we got a bigger room for only RM80 a night! What a rip off if we were to take the walk in charges.

So, early in the morning Pak Nor took us straight to this leather shop that specializes in making leather jackets, (i was suppose to buy one when i visited Bandung, but the timing was off and i couldn’t buy one then, turns out making a custom fit lleather jacket in Bali was the best decision i’ve ever made),  i was pumped, and was immediately measured and discussing the design with the tailor. Black leather, with brass colored zippers, biker-styled jacket. And i told him specifically, about that i want it a little bit short, just above my hip, so that when its fully zipped and i am sitting down, the jacket wont look like i was mengandung 4 bulan, mengembung like normal jackets yang panjang sampai ke bawah pinggang. Siapnya hari jumaat sebalah pagi pak, ok ngam. Then we went straight to Ubud. The area was filled with creativity, the people are master craftsmen in woodwork, stone carving, and paintings. I bought one for my sister (mahal tu ehem), Dragon bought a few for ... someone la. One thing i notice about the woodwork was, the Balinese seems to have a liking to penis, they have it in every wood shop and every giftshops all over Bali, weird. Dragon bought a lot penis-shaped keychain, i am sceptical on-to which extent is he using it? haha

And then we went to Goa Gajah, bayar lagi tiket masuk. Its a historical landmark of someone with a gajah hundreds of years ago (i know im lazy, google it yourself). Then we drop by tegalantang rice terrace, it was beautiful rice field. Kesian this one young girl that tries to sell us this postcards of Bali, i didn’t have change with me, so we left her without a sale. Sorry girl, next time.

Off we went to this, apa nama? Ala lupa pulak, its like a fruit garden la, that sells the most expensive coffee in the entire world, kopi luwak. It was sold at the garden at rm17 in a very small cup, seteguk buli abis. Pak Nor told us that if it was sold in cafe, it can go as high as rm71 in that same size of cup, craze bodoh. Dragon bought one, and i tried a sip, macam kopi tenom ja rasanya pun, tiada pun speselnya, ceh. I enjoyed the vanilla flavoured coffee more, perrgghh sedap, free lagi.

Then we arrived at kintamani (again, google it). A nice mountain view, half of the mountain was like a desert, pasir ja Nampak, pasal sulphur kali. Camar (the hawk-eyed stalker) immediately spotted a group of Korean girls, and told Pak Nor to ask them if we can take pictures with them, and to my surprise, Pak Nor spoke Korean! Walawey! Snap2 Dragon comes a little bit closer to one of the Korean girls (we call his move ‘mendada’ hahah). We had lunch at a buffet muslim restaurant, lupa suda namanya. Then off we go to check in at our new hotel, bakung Sari, nice and spaceful hehe.

END of PART 1 (bukan apa penat suda menaip, nanti ja sambung)

Puisi dari seberang

kulari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku
kulari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
sepi… sepi.. dan sendiri aku benci
aku ingin bingar… aku mau di pasar
bosan aku dengan penat
dan enyah saja kau pekat
seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri

pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
ada malaikat menyulam
jaring laba laba belang di tembok keraton putih

kenapa tak goyangkan saja loncengnya
biar terdera
atau aku harus lari ke hutan
lalu ke pantai…

this is the poem from the hit indonesian film 'ada apa dengan cinta'. i'm a big fan of indonesian literature, the wordings, the rhythm of the sentence, to me is just mesmerizing. another one from this movie is titled simply as 'cinta'.

Perempuan datang atas nama cinta
Bunda pergi karna cinta
Digenangi air racun jingga adalah wajahmu
Seperti bulan lelap tidur di hatimu
yang berdinding kelam dan kedinginan
Ada apa dengannya
Meninggalkan hati untuk dicaci
Lalu sekali ini aku lihat karya syurga
dari mata seorang hawa
Ada apa dengan cinta?

Tapi aku pasti akan kembali
dalam satu purnama
untuk mempertanyakan kembali cintanya..

Bukan untuknya, bukan untuk siapa
Tapi untukku
Karna aku ingin kamu
Itu saja

Laungan Subuh

sedang aku tidur aku dikejutkan oleh namamu
peluh dingin yang mengalir menjadi kelam dan kematu
dan boleh saja namamu terpacul dari bibirku

aku duduk dan beristighfar
mengusap jari dari hujung mata ke malar
doaku agar hatiku bersih dari onar dan kekar

subuh sudah lantang melaung
jari-jari yang lemah ini coba menolak selubung
dan telinga terus kuat berdengung

lantai yang hina diinjak pijak
jadi mulia bila sujud kepada yang Hak
hati tenang selepas ombak bergolak

tealapak yang berat menadah
meminta ampun dan taubah
karna hanya Kamu yang wajib dimulia disembah

atas kemulian dan kebesaran
atas penerima segala amalan
hati ini hanya milik kamu ya rab ya rahman

(puasa mau dekat, puisi pun berbaur keinsafan, tidak sabar mau balik kampung hahaha)

Pintu

Pintu, hari2 kita tinguk pintu. Bangun tidur nampak pintu bilik. Pigi tandas buka pintu. Keluar rumah buka pintu. Masuk kereta buka pintu. Pigi opis buka pintu tutup pintu. Ada pintu besar, ada yang kecik. Ada warna putih, hitam, coklat yang paling banyak. Pintu kita buka akan bawa kita ke satu ruangan yang lain, mungkin lebih besar, atau lebih kecil, lebih sejuk, atau lebih panas.

Dalam hidup kita sedar atau tidak kita ada buka banyak jenis pintu. Pejam mata dan cuba bayangkan, henfon kita berbunyi alarmnya jam 6am, ada dua pintu di situ, satu pintu stop alarm kita terus bangun, satu pintu snooze sambung tidur. Bila kita baru bangun dari tidur, ada dua pintu, satu pintu kencing satu pintu cuci muka. Selesai mandi ada banyak lagi pintu, pintu baju. Kita buka pintu baju putih, lepas tu ada lagi banyak pintu, pintu tali leher, kita buka pintu tali leher hitam. Pintu seluar dalam nda paya cerita la di sini. Kalau perempuan, pintu baju dan pintu beg tangan jangan cakap la berapa banyak.

Sampai di opis, kita pigi cafeteria sarapan, ada banyak lagi pintu, pintu minuman. Kita buka pintu teh tarik. Ada lagi pintu, pintu makanan, kita buka pintu roti canai mamak satu. Pintu2 jenis ni semua, pintu2 yang kita buka tanpa sedar, ikut mood, ikut rasa.

Ada satu pintu yang paling penting dari semua pintu. Salah pilih boleh rusak, pilih yang betul boleh selamat. Itulah yang dipanggil pintu ‘keputusan’.Ada satu lagi jenis pintu yang penting. Pintu ni berat, kita punya tangan suda pun memigang tombol, tapi mau buka punya la susah, punya la berat, kadang2 dapat buka, kadang2 tidak dapat buka, kadang2 putus asa mau buka, kadang2 dibiar nda mau ambil tau. Itu la yang dipanggil pintu ‘tanggungjawab’.

Mana satu yang bagus untuk aku? untuk kau? untuk dia? untuk kita? Mana satu yang berat bagi aku? bagi kau? bagi dia? bagi kita?

Mata, hati dan cinta

Mata yang memanggil, renung yang memaut
Kembalikan remajaku
Tika waktu hati berbicara cinta dan bukan cita-cita

Kalau mata bisa menulis, Kan ku bukukan wajahmu

Kalau mata bisa melukis, Kan ku potretkan senyummu
Kalau mata bisa menyanyi, Kan ku gubah santunmu
Dan kalau mata bisa merindu, Kan ku gubal puisi syahdu

Berjalan di bawah gelap malam bintang-bintang

Bayang-bayang yang ingin berlari, berhenti sekejap rayuku
Bawa aku pergi, berlari bersama mimpi-mimpi
Supaya anganku bisa menyatu dengan kamu
Dan duniaku jadi sempurna, karna adanya kamu

senja si pari-pari

senja
bukan lagi mainan si pari-pari
yang dulu bisa dilihat menari dengan api,
dan kadang kala dengan hati

senja
aku ukir untuk mimpi
matahari juga bisa tenggelam di hujung jari-jari
senyum untuk orang yang punya kekasih

sampai siang
angin yang berbicara  dengan rambut
lalu di mana jari-jari kamu?

dan sampai siang
bicara bukan lagi milik lidah
tapi milik mata
dan yang beda bukan sesiapa
tapi aku, dia dan mereka

3 PMs

i believe this is my first blog about my new workplace, the ministry of foreign affairs, or they call it here Wisma Putra. it is somewhat strategically located on top of a hill overlooking almost all the ministries below. from presint 1 all the way to JPM down to presint 2.

i have to be honest, the first thing i thought about Wisma Putra was the overseas postings. truth be told, the one reason i wanted to transfer to WP in the first place was, if i were to be posted overseas, then i would have enough money to buy me a Harley-Davidson. it does sound silly doesnt it? haha.

regardless what i may or may not write about this new workplace, it is by all means, my own personal thoughts and feelings. but it has been a blast, professionally. i remember i was 'in charge' of logistics for the Premier of China's visit to M'sia. he is schedule to meet with 3 prime ministers in one day. so we sent a letter to PM, and i contacted both former PMs, Tun Mahathir and Tun Abdullah's office for arrangements.

day 1 we were the officer put 'in charge' (kononnya la) of protocol arrangements for the bilateral meetings between PM and his chinese counterpart and the exchanging of MoUs between M'sian and China's companies witnessed by both. as the PM walked pass me, i remember thinking, 'he used to look bigger, the last time i saw him upclose in 2001'. mungkin kecut suda kali haha

day 2 i cover the courtessy call by the Chinese Premier on Tun Mahathir. As my boss and i were sitting inside the waiting room with Tun, i cant help but notice that he is, for lack of a better word, Old. He looks tiny and almost fragile, but he has still the charisma of a former world leader. then a couple of hours later it was Tun Abdullah's turn to meet with the Chinese Premier.

i met 3 prime ministers in 2 short days, i'm overwhelmed by the experience haha, orang kampung la katakan. my current workplace offers me a new window to the side of the world i have never experienced before, maybe not a big deal to some, but it is for me. the title says it all. till next time

mindless

The mind is a very funny thing. It actually is, ironically, mindless. You have to give it guidance, directions, and support, and you have to give it heart. Without it, the mind is at lost and without directions. I believe a mind without those things will make a person a mindless robot.


But be careful of what kind of guidance and directions you chose to give it, because what you wanted it to do and to believe it will do so. And i, in many many occasions have led it astray. And in many many more occasions have repented over it. We are, what most would love to deny, weak. And only through God can we be strong enough to give it the clear and true directions, only through Him can we be successful.

My mind is playing tricks on me, making a fool out of me, and i think its about time i give it a more clear direction. It has been a very very busy month for me, i need a rest, a vacation perhaps. Bali here i come. Eh bila aa?

blind

I went for a camping trip, it was good place for camping. The water is crystal clear and everyone seems to have a good time. I was just sitting there and a girl came asking me something, and i remembered i said no to her question. And i immediately move away. But later, fate it seems loves to play a practical joke once in a while, ironically i fell in love with this girl, and fate again plays the biggest joke on me then, the girl wasn’t in his plan.


I’ve been in love, a couple of times i think, but now, i don’t remember how to do it again. Maybe because it hurts when its over. Maybe i’m just scared, maybe i’m just confused, or maybe i just don’t believe in it anymore. We can give a blind man a stick to find his way, but how can someone who loses ‘love’ find his? I have no answer for that, not right now, not yet, perhaps not ever

putra berjaya

Putrajaya, the city, or federal territory rather, has been kind to me, in a way. Its beautifully landscaped, its peaceful, it has everything but still, incompletely complete. Peaceful has its pro and con, mundane it seems is the essence of peace. In other words, its a boring place. 20 minutes or less of driving around and you have covered all. And in this watching-paint-dry-boring place lies the heart of the government, another bore fact. Even my writing becomes dull.


Going down to KL is a struggle by itself, the traffic, the motorists, the people, the shopping complexes, the complexity of the girls haha. The girls here are unique in their own way, i have no further comment, best leave it at that. Oh come to think of it. Thats why i like sabahan girls better hahaha. And i’m lucky i’m no club goer. But i admit i have my below par approach on life. But yes, i want to be the enemy of my vices, my lusts, my shortcomings. But i look into the mirror and i see a fragile man, but hey, aren’t we all? Till next time

bahaya

today's event was a bit crazeee. i was with salim having lunch at penang village klcc. everything was normal and all, until this lady in a super-short skirt sitting in the next table on my 2 o'clock. and she keeps looking at me a few times. being a man i couldnt help but taking a few glimpses, this girl is CRAZYYY! the weird thing is she crossed her legs in my direction, when she left and was trying to stand i terglimpsed at her private area, and she wasnt wearing any panties!! the girl is super crazee-horny. gila, wats wrong with KL girls nowadays, not all la, some. sheesh

Jagoan Kota

Sekuntum bukan semestinya layu
Gerak hati yang berbicara sayu
Yang ada hanya kamu
Begitu rentaknya duniamu

Mentari meminta izin untuk pergi
Tapi kemana langkahnya?
Kalau bukan hanya dibalik tabir hati
Di depan pintu cuma

Dan Sang Bulan pun petah berbicara
‘Akulah jagoan kota
Yang menjadi teman si pengemis pujangga kata
Seperti pautan si pacat
Pada hati yang lumpuh cacat
Dia suda tidak bisa diubat’

Kulit yang tidak tahan gatal panas
Jari yang tidak kenal was-was
Hati yang dihuni unggas-unggas
Duduknya tidak santun tidak kemas

10:30 am 17 Jan ‘11

the way it is

these past few years, i found myself still looking for something, and i cant seem to find it. how can i find this something when i dont even know what it is im looking for. it feels like im going back and forth and ended up at the same place again and again. i wish i knew what i'm looking for, then it would be easier, much more easier.

i am, in some aspects, a failure. i'm not a good man, not so much of a person, an even worse friend, a not so obedient son, and, i'm ashamed to say, not even a good Moslem. i've been down this path many times, i wish i could change but always find myself looking at the same person in the mirror, a failure.

but i'm lucky enough to have a postive mind and attitude, because as the saying goes, 'when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up'. the heart is a stupid-fragile thing. we can nurture it, comfort it, and to some extent, lie to it.

i pray to the Almighty to give me strength, for i have none, to give me comfort, for i'm in distress, to show me the way, for i am lost. Amin