Jagoan Kota

Sekuntum bukan semestinya layu
Gerak hati yang berbicara sayu
Yang ada hanya kamu
Begitu rentaknya duniamu

Mentari meminta izin untuk pergi
Tapi kemana langkahnya?
Kalau bukan hanya dibalik tabir hati
Di depan pintu cuma

Dan Sang Bulan pun petah berbicara
‘Akulah jagoan kota
Yang menjadi teman si pengemis pujangga kata
Seperti pautan si pacat
Pada hati yang lumpuh cacat
Dia suda tidak bisa diubat’

Kulit yang tidak tahan gatal panas
Jari yang tidak kenal was-was
Hati yang dihuni unggas-unggas
Duduknya tidak santun tidak kemas

10:30 am 17 Jan ‘11

the way it is

these past few years, i found myself still looking for something, and i cant seem to find it. how can i find this something when i dont even know what it is im looking for. it feels like im going back and forth and ended up at the same place again and again. i wish i knew what i'm looking for, then it would be easier, much more easier.

i am, in some aspects, a failure. i'm not a good man, not so much of a person, an even worse friend, a not so obedient son, and, i'm ashamed to say, not even a good Moslem. i've been down this path many times, i wish i could change but always find myself looking at the same person in the mirror, a failure.

but i'm lucky enough to have a postive mind and attitude, because as the saying goes, 'when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up'. the heart is a stupid-fragile thing. we can nurture it, comfort it, and to some extent, lie to it.

i pray to the Almighty to give me strength, for i have none, to give me comfort, for i'm in distress, to show me the way, for i am lost. Amin