life, no matter how beautiful it may come, will never be perfect. it will always have flaws, and flaws what make us better. i have always thought of myself to be indifferent to anything, but i was wrong. we seem to have an opinion on anything and everything. sometimes when we are lucky, we got to be right, but most of the time we are not, and most of the time we fail to see that too.
i'm blessed in many ways save a few, but i tend to be the ungrateful dumb ass almost all the time. but i try to improve that part of me, for my sake and for others. i need a slap in the face to wake me up hahahaha. till next time
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saja
Api dan duri
bukanlah kawan yang bisa di ajak menari
terpekik terlolong dengan siul tajam si siluman ngeri
warna, bukan lagi pelangi
Dari mata turun ke hati
dari renung ke denyutan nadi
atas nama yang tidak punya erti
bingung bukan milik hakiki
bukan milik si bajingan sakti
(aku suka menulis. dan kadang2 Tuhan akan bagi ilham, ayat2 akan turun spontan, walaupun tidak punya erti atau tidak merujuk pada diri dan situasi, asal sedap bunyi, ini pun sama juga ni .. haha)
bukanlah kawan yang bisa di ajak menari
terpekik terlolong dengan siul tajam si siluman ngeri
warna, bukan lagi pelangi
Dari mata turun ke hati
dari renung ke denyutan nadi
atas nama yang tidak punya erti
bingung bukan milik hakiki
bukan milik si bajingan sakti
(aku suka menulis. dan kadang2 Tuhan akan bagi ilham, ayat2 akan turun spontan, walaupun tidak punya erti atau tidak merujuk pada diri dan situasi, asal sedap bunyi, ini pun sama juga ni .. haha)
Monday, October 11, 2010
men's fitness
I believe every one of us has some sort of a hobby(ies), there are the outdoorsy-type that would go camping, fishing, jungle trekking, etc. Others like it more physical, outdoor/indoor sports. Some would just paint, collect stuffs, blogging, the list goes on.
I for one am in love with the sport called bodybuilding, but I prefer to call it physical fitness. It’s good for the overall health, mentally, physically as well as emotionally. There’s no other way that beats pumping iron when you want to let some steam off.
I might not be the perfect person to talk, or give advices, on this issue. This is just me writing about something I like doing and perhaps give some general pointers on it.
If friends just beginning to have the idea to get into shape, i always advice them to ask themselves first, what type of body they want. Do they want to look like bodybuilders (picture Arnold), actors (hugh ‘wolverine’ jackman), or male models (not sure, but you have the rough idea). This is important, mainly because these types of bodies are different from each other, therefore requires different types of exercises/trainings. Most friends would go for wolverine for obvious machismo reasons. When you decided which type of body you want, then you can begin.
I will not go into details, you can download it from google, saves you a lot of money and time (thank god for technology). From there you can outline your training program, but remember, the program is flexible, if you find it to be boring, change it occasionally.
During my early years of physical fitness, I went to a gym rakyat near masjid negeri in kk. I used to train with amateur bodybuilders, these guys are hardcore, and i was pulled into their training program, which was a BIG mistake, because i forgot then, i never wanted to have a bodybuilder’s physique, but i was training to become one. REMEMBER, DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP. After three months, I put on mass and get really big, i used to bench 120-130kg with these freaks haha. Until one day, a friend told me to my face, you have a babyface type of face with the body of a monster, and he was right. Your facial texture too plays an important part in your overall body type (at least i think so).
Their program was, they focused on 5-6 types with 5 to 6 sets of one part of muscle, two times a week, the standard bodybuilding program. Eg. Monday, Thursday, they will do their chest and triceps. Tuesday, Friday their backs, shoulders and arms. Wednesday and Saturday their legs and calves, and abs every day. There’s nothing wrong with this program if I were training for competition, but i wasn’t.
I rest for half a year i think, to let the mass size down. And changed my training to a drastic whole body workout 6 times a week. It may sound insanely absurd yes, overtraining maybe, but lets do a comparison. I train each part of my major muscles with one type of training a day. Eg. I’ll do a shoulder dumbbell press a day for six days, means i work my shoulder muscle 6 times a week. Now lets compare it with the bodybuilders program, they do 6 types of shoulder exercises a day, two times a week. So 6 x 2 = 12 times a week. Its double the number of times i trained mine, got it? So there’s no issue of overtraining.
I do this whole body workout with light weights, i use no more than 7.5kg of dumbbells for single arm exercises, 15kg if using two hands (barbells). If i were to add more weights, i would add more mass, thats not what i aim for. To build strength and stamina, i cut down on my rest time from 1 minute to 45 seconds, and add on more sets and more reps but not more weights. (most people i see in the gym have the tendency to rest longer than they should between sets, this is a no no, keep in mind the shorter you rest the more calories you burn).
Throughout my years of training, i found out that for my 5’7” height, the 7.5 and 15kgs are enough to build a lean muscle definition. When i go to the gym today, it is common for us guys to check out the other gym goers. And compared to most of them, i am smaller, but my definition is better (masuk bakul angkat sendiri haha), because this is the type of body i want.
Recently i’m trying a new program, this one i copied it from arnold’s encyclopaedia of bodybuilding. Now don’t be alarm, no i’m not training to become like him, no way in hell no.
Mon Wed Fri (chest&back), Tue Thur Sat (Shoulders, arms & legs). Abs and light jogging on the treadmill everyday. I will not change the weights of the dumbbells, i’ll just add more sets and reps and cut down rest time.
Now lets talk about food intake. To have a firm 6 pack you have to loose those flabs hanging around your love handles. You can train your abs doing 1000 crunches a day and see no results, because you may have built the abs muscle inside but it is covered with fat. How to loose these stubborn entity? Simply by burning more calories than you take and cut sugar and salt entirely. why cut off sugar? you may ask. well the answer is simple, the body will burn calories for energy, and the easiest to burn is sugar, if you have it in your system, and the hardest is obviously fat, by not having any complex sugar in your system, the body will have no option than to use fat to burn those calories. And to maximise your fat burning, you also have to combine both cardio and weight training in your program.
I’ll give the program a try for a month to see the results and to listen to what my body says, and how my body reacts to the program. This is also an important note to take. Some types of exercises are good for some, better for someone else, best for another. Try and find yours. Its just a matter of patience and trial & error experiments. In the meantime enjoy your workout and keep the motivation going, best of luck, till next time.
I for one am in love with the sport called bodybuilding, but I prefer to call it physical fitness. It’s good for the overall health, mentally, physically as well as emotionally. There’s no other way that beats pumping iron when you want to let some steam off.
I might not be the perfect person to talk, or give advices, on this issue. This is just me writing about something I like doing and perhaps give some general pointers on it.
If friends just beginning to have the idea to get into shape, i always advice them to ask themselves first, what type of body they want. Do they want to look like bodybuilders (picture Arnold), actors (hugh ‘wolverine’ jackman), or male models (not sure, but you have the rough idea). This is important, mainly because these types of bodies are different from each other, therefore requires different types of exercises/trainings. Most friends would go for wolverine for obvious machismo reasons. When you decided which type of body you want, then you can begin.
I will not go into details, you can download it from google, saves you a lot of money and time (thank god for technology). From there you can outline your training program, but remember, the program is flexible, if you find it to be boring, change it occasionally.
During my early years of physical fitness, I went to a gym rakyat near masjid negeri in kk. I used to train with amateur bodybuilders, these guys are hardcore, and i was pulled into their training program, which was a BIG mistake, because i forgot then, i never wanted to have a bodybuilder’s physique, but i was training to become one. REMEMBER, DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP. After three months, I put on mass and get really big, i used to bench 120-130kg with these freaks haha. Until one day, a friend told me to my face, you have a babyface type of face with the body of a monster, and he was right. Your facial texture too plays an important part in your overall body type (at least i think so).
Their program was, they focused on 5-6 types with 5 to 6 sets of one part of muscle, two times a week, the standard bodybuilding program. Eg. Monday, Thursday, they will do their chest and triceps. Tuesday, Friday their backs, shoulders and arms. Wednesday and Saturday their legs and calves, and abs every day. There’s nothing wrong with this program if I were training for competition, but i wasn’t.
I rest for half a year i think, to let the mass size down. And changed my training to a drastic whole body workout 6 times a week. It may sound insanely absurd yes, overtraining maybe, but lets do a comparison. I train each part of my major muscles with one type of training a day. Eg. I’ll do a shoulder dumbbell press a day for six days, means i work my shoulder muscle 6 times a week. Now lets compare it with the bodybuilders program, they do 6 types of shoulder exercises a day, two times a week. So 6 x 2 = 12 times a week. Its double the number of times i trained mine, got it? So there’s no issue of overtraining.
I do this whole body workout with light weights, i use no more than 7.5kg of dumbbells for single arm exercises, 15kg if using two hands (barbells). If i were to add more weights, i would add more mass, thats not what i aim for. To build strength and stamina, i cut down on my rest time from 1 minute to 45 seconds, and add on more sets and more reps but not more weights. (most people i see in the gym have the tendency to rest longer than they should between sets, this is a no no, keep in mind the shorter you rest the more calories you burn).
Throughout my years of training, i found out that for my 5’7” height, the 7.5 and 15kgs are enough to build a lean muscle definition. When i go to the gym today, it is common for us guys to check out the other gym goers. And compared to most of them, i am smaller, but my definition is better (masuk bakul angkat sendiri haha), because this is the type of body i want.
Recently i’m trying a new program, this one i copied it from arnold’s encyclopaedia of bodybuilding. Now don’t be alarm, no i’m not training to become like him, no way in hell no.
Mon Wed Fri (chest&back), Tue Thur Sat (Shoulders, arms & legs). Abs and light jogging on the treadmill everyday. I will not change the weights of the dumbbells, i’ll just add more sets and reps and cut down rest time.
Now lets talk about food intake. To have a firm 6 pack you have to loose those flabs hanging around your love handles. You can train your abs doing 1000 crunches a day and see no results, because you may have built the abs muscle inside but it is covered with fat. How to loose these stubborn entity? Simply by burning more calories than you take and cut sugar and salt entirely. why cut off sugar? you may ask. well the answer is simple, the body will burn calories for energy, and the easiest to burn is sugar, if you have it in your system, and the hardest is obviously fat, by not having any complex sugar in your system, the body will have no option than to use fat to burn those calories. And to maximise your fat burning, you also have to combine both cardio and weight training in your program.
I’ll give the program a try for a month to see the results and to listen to what my body says, and how my body reacts to the program. This is also an important note to take. Some types of exercises are good for some, better for someone else, best for another. Try and find yours. Its just a matter of patience and trial & error experiments. In the meantime enjoy your workout and keep the motivation going, best of luck, till next time.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
ermm
Dua tiga langkah berlari
aku berpaling melihat rindu
bengis mukanya tidak sanggup aku
namun aku mula lesu
ku biar kasih berpaut di kaki
sayang bermanja di hati
sungguh aku tidak sanggup lagi
berdiri di tengah bendang
sawah menghijau
embun malam yang mampir
sejuknya sejuk sekali
bisa aku bicara denganmu? tegur rindu
pergilah jauh
kesian dan belaskan aku
tiada punya apa kecuali bicara lidah
kadang kelat dan kesat
lepaskan aku, aku merayu
kau mau aku sujud padamu?
sujudmu milik Tuhan yang satu, namun aku mahu hatimu
hati ini suda tidak mampu
jasad muda hati yang tua
pernah dibuang diinjak
masa terasa pendek dan singkat
jeling-jelingan yang membalas
aku tidak punya lagi hutang denganmu
dia mengirim aku padamu, hai teruna yang satu
aku bukan lagi milik itu
tahukah kau sang rindu
kisah di balik tabir yang belum labuh
aku bukan dia bukan itu
dia berdiri situ kaku
aku hulur tanganku
aku hulur tanganku
aku hulur tanganku
(22 julai 2002, recited 2006)
This piece plays a very important part in my life, i dont have a title for it, i still dont know why. i recited this poem at a function to a great and beautiful lady, whom i once deeply fell for. i wish her all of happiness in life, and i hope i will find mine as well. till next time.
aku berpaling melihat rindu
bengis mukanya tidak sanggup aku
namun aku mula lesu
ku biar kasih berpaut di kaki
sayang bermanja di hati
sungguh aku tidak sanggup lagi
berdiri di tengah bendang
sawah menghijau
embun malam yang mampir
sejuknya sejuk sekali
bisa aku bicara denganmu? tegur rindu
pergilah jauh
kesian dan belaskan aku
tiada punya apa kecuali bicara lidah
kadang kelat dan kesat
lepaskan aku, aku merayu
kau mau aku sujud padamu?
sujudmu milik Tuhan yang satu, namun aku mahu hatimu
hati ini suda tidak mampu
jasad muda hati yang tua
pernah dibuang diinjak
masa terasa pendek dan singkat
jeling-jelingan yang membalas
aku tidak punya lagi hutang denganmu
dia mengirim aku padamu, hai teruna yang satu
aku bukan lagi milik itu
tahukah kau sang rindu
kisah di balik tabir yang belum labuh
aku bukan dia bukan itu
dia berdiri situ kaku
aku hulur tanganku
aku hulur tanganku
aku hulur tanganku
(22 julai 2002, recited 2006)
This piece plays a very important part in my life, i dont have a title for it, i still dont know why. i recited this poem at a function to a great and beautiful lady, whom i once deeply fell for. i wish her all of happiness in life, and i hope i will find mine as well. till next time.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Labuan
just came back from labuan (and kk) yesterday. the whole week at labuan was a bit dull. i was involved in a joint organized course with mmea & us coast guard. we sent 16 of our young officers for the 4days-course.
i was just sitting there listening to them mumbling something about something. but i did my part. i've already sent my report to the big guys upstairs. just a simple 5 page evaluation report on the course based on the findings from the participants.
the trainers are professionals from the u.s coast guards. they're a bunch of good n funny people. they called themselves the A-Team, consisting of Andrew, Abraham, and Amanda.
the food was great, (i think i gain a good 1kg), the hotel was so so la. my aircond the first 2 days were hangkang, (abis gas). told it at the reception early on, only on day 2 an electrician came and stuff the can with more gas. and then the bath tub was missing the cork (penyumbat) for the hole. i asked for a spare, they dont have one. i improvise, i used the glass cup. dapat la mandi berendam lama2 hua3.
later on i decided to go to the airport and change my flight to depart from kk. added another extra rm50. have the chance to meet some friends, miss u bebeh hahaha.
the last night at labuan me and a few of the young officers went to the hotel's pub, nothing fancy, just sitting down listening to some great music. they played sweet child of mine from GnR, the guitarist was awesome! 20minutes in, i called it a night and went upstairs to bed. tinguk tv lg bagus.
sempat tinguk wayang salt di suria sabah, buli2 la. sempat lagi dinner d aesha corner dan jesselton point. pack juga la jadual. flight pagi ahad si mamat (aka habibz jewels) tolong hantar p airport, flight smooth la, azmi ambik dekat erl, terus bawa dia sarapan, terus balik rumah sakit perut mau birak hahaahaha. punya banyak kain mau cuci. aah malas, ndapa mesin juga cuci heeh. till next time.
i was just sitting there listening to them mumbling something about something. but i did my part. i've already sent my report to the big guys upstairs. just a simple 5 page evaluation report on the course based on the findings from the participants.
the trainers are professionals from the u.s coast guards. they're a bunch of good n funny people. they called themselves the A-Team, consisting of Andrew, Abraham, and Amanda.
the food was great, (i think i gain a good 1kg), the hotel was so so la. my aircond the first 2 days were hangkang, (abis gas). told it at the reception early on, only on day 2 an electrician came and stuff the can with more gas. and then the bath tub was missing the cork (penyumbat) for the hole. i asked for a spare, they dont have one. i improvise, i used the glass cup. dapat la mandi berendam lama2 hua3.
later on i decided to go to the airport and change my flight to depart from kk. added another extra rm50. have the chance to meet some friends, miss u bebeh hahaha.
the last night at labuan me and a few of the young officers went to the hotel's pub, nothing fancy, just sitting down listening to some great music. they played sweet child of mine from GnR, the guitarist was awesome! 20minutes in, i called it a night and went upstairs to bed. tinguk tv lg bagus.
sempat tinguk wayang salt di suria sabah, buli2 la. sempat lagi dinner d aesha corner dan jesselton point. pack juga la jadual. flight pagi ahad si mamat (aka habibz jewels) tolong hantar p airport, flight smooth la, azmi ambik dekat erl, terus bawa dia sarapan, terus balik rumah sakit perut mau birak hahaahaha. punya banyak kain mau cuci. aah malas, ndapa mesin juga cuci heeh. till next time.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
needs vs wants
i opened up my closet and saw a handful of jackets. i looked up and there're 4 pairs of boots on top of the closet. i have these somewhat crazy cravings for jackets and boots. i like watches very very much too, but to date i only have two, i'm saving up for a tag or a montblanc. aside from motorcycles, these are the things i need most. sorry, correction, i want most hehe.
for me personally, its kinda hard to fight these cravings. but its even harder to accept the fact that i know the difference between needs and wants. but as a human being, i'm not perfect and almost always succumbed to the latter.
it baffles me sometimes, the nature of men (and women) to intentionally, subconsciously or not, go for the negative. i need a car, and i want a honda. i need jeans, it has to be a levi's. i need a gf, she has to be this and that.
all i'm saying is that, we cant fight what we are. but i believe we can control what we want to become. but dont mind me, i'm all talk haha. i thought i saw a nice boot at timberland the other day, guess i'll pay them a visit hehe no la. till next time.
for me personally, its kinda hard to fight these cravings. but its even harder to accept the fact that i know the difference between needs and wants. but as a human being, i'm not perfect and almost always succumbed to the latter.
it baffles me sometimes, the nature of men (and women) to intentionally, subconsciously or not, go for the negative. i need a car, and i want a honda. i need jeans, it has to be a levi's. i need a gf, she has to be this and that.
all i'm saying is that, we cant fight what we are. but i believe we can control what we want to become. but dont mind me, i'm all talk haha. i thought i saw a nice boot at timberland the other day, guess i'll pay them a visit hehe no la. till next time.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The truth about boys
If you’re reading this, best be aware and a form or warning is bestowed beforehand. For this will be raw, unedited and perhaps offensive to some. But those reasons have never stopped a good read before and i assure you, they won’t stop it now.
Nothing can be further from the truth with the cliché statement ‘boys will be boys’. As boys (normal ones) we like shiny stuffs with wheels. We typically like cars, motorbikes, monsters on wheels, but let’s leave out cart wheels and wheelchairs on this one. I for one can drool upon a shiny harley-davidson fatboy for hours and still can’t get enough, I don’t know why, it’s just in me.
Toys aren’t only for girls. We like them too, GI Joe’s stuffs but definitely not barbies. I would someday like to have in my house a big wall with shelves filled with kick-ass toys from mcFarlanes, old movie posters, sports trophies of past winnings (ada ka? haha).
In general boys like sports, even the ‘kaki bangku’ would enjoy watching the world cup, or a couch potato can enjoy a game of basketball on tv. So don’t mind us, come world cup, turning into mindless zombies worshipping the tv (thank God for astro).
We like girls, especially the pretty ones. I’m not being shallow, it’s just the facts. The truth is we (boys and girls alike) love to look at beautiful things. Women above all else literally live by this very principle. Look at the local and foreign magazines, ads on tv, most are aimed at women. And surprise surprise who’s there on the cover? A very pretty girl in a pretty dress with a pretty make-up. Hey, I’m just pointing out the facts.
Most boys are not hypocrites. One can be more outspoken than the other but we practically have the same understanding. For example, me and a friend are sitting down somewhere and came pass us this hot-in-heels-head-turning-brunette. Our eyes seemed to be glued with her movement until she walked-off the corner. Now, for the outspoken me, I’d directly say to my friend ‘damn! What a smoking babe’. For the more introvert him, he’d give me a nod and a little grin. He will never say ‘I don’t think so’ and kept his real opinion from me. We are a very direct creature, regardless our state of personality.
I’m sure all of us have met with a situation where a bunch of people in a group would make noises and jokes and gave out big laughs in public. It’s ok for us boys to do it. To see a girl laugh, it’s a pretty sight, to see her laugh frantically in a loud voice in public, it’s horror and a definite turn off. You see, boys like girls simply because they are being girly. Let me put it in a simple statement, boys like girls for their femininity.
Through experience, more bitter than sweet, it has come to my knowledge and understanding, that men are as much as fragile as women. We may have built this exterior wall of confidence, arrogance, indifference and belittlement nature that is so deeply and perfectly embedded into our DNA and our sub consciousness so much so that we believe we are different from women, when truth be told we’re not, and the same can be said of women. Stop hating us for what we are, rough, direct, sweaty, and loud. Instead love us for what we can be, a poet, a dreamer or the occasional lover. till next time.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
kau aku dan satu
dalam kalam yang kadangnya terang, kadangnya kabur
bibir ini sentiasa tersasul
dengan nista dan bacul
bicara tidak semestinya selari dengan niat
tangan yang luntur, badan yang kuat menggeliat
lalu inikah yang dipacak dengan nobat
yang hanya tau, besok baru bertaubat
seteguh mana kaki berdiri
manakan bisa di atas angin
robek tiga lapis sang hati
manakan bisa menolak ingin
aku kau satu
namun itu satu masa dulu
di masa bila kita bisa belajar menari dengan angin
menyanyi dengan rindu
berlari dengan sendu dan rayu
kau, peluk aku
tidurmu hanya satu
mimpimu hanya aku
tapi itu
itu satu masa dulu
14 julai 2010 (5.00 ptg)
Ini aku saja2 karang on the spot. tapi hati juga main peranan. bukan apa, manusia tanpa rasa dan hati, kan hanya robot tin kosong, tapi aku rasa aku ni separuh2, cyborg barangkali hahaha
bibir ini sentiasa tersasul
dengan nista dan bacul
bicara tidak semestinya selari dengan niat
tangan yang luntur, badan yang kuat menggeliat
lalu inikah yang dipacak dengan nobat
yang hanya tau, besok baru bertaubat
seteguh mana kaki berdiri
manakan bisa di atas angin
robek tiga lapis sang hati
manakan bisa menolak ingin
aku kau satu
namun itu satu masa dulu
di masa bila kita bisa belajar menari dengan angin
menyanyi dengan rindu
berlari dengan sendu dan rayu
kau, peluk aku
tidurmu hanya satu
mimpimu hanya aku
tapi itu
itu satu masa dulu
14 julai 2010 (5.00 ptg)
Ini aku saja2 karang on the spot. tapi hati juga main peranan. bukan apa, manusia tanpa rasa dan hati, kan hanya robot tin kosong, tapi aku rasa aku ni separuh2, cyborg barangkali hahaha
Monday, July 12, 2010
Kenangan
Terkenang-kenang terkejut
siapa itu?
mari dekat padaku
tunjuklah mukamu
Ini aku, nafsu
oh! kau datang tidak tepat waktu
ini aku syahdu
ah! malam sunyi kernamu
ini aku pilu
cis! jangan dekat padaku
JADI APA MAU MU?
wajah yang bermain di kalbu
nyata kau bukan itu
pergilah jangan ganggu aku
TAPI DIA BUKAN MILIKMU
itu aku tau
dia mau begitu
hanya kenangan milikku
5 oktober 2002
Ini aku ingat2 lupa, tapi pasal perempuan juga la, masa KYS juga ni, dia pilih orang lain juga, aku steady rock la, last2 aku nampak dia sekarang sama lelaki cina, nda mau la aku menilai orang, pandai2 nya la hiup.
siapa itu?
mari dekat padaku
tunjuklah mukamu
Ini aku, nafsu
oh! kau datang tidak tepat waktu
ini aku syahdu
ah! malam sunyi kernamu
ini aku pilu
cis! jangan dekat padaku
JADI APA MAU MU?
wajah yang bermain di kalbu
nyata kau bukan itu
pergilah jangan ganggu aku
TAPI DIA BUKAN MILIKMU
itu aku tau
dia mau begitu
hanya kenangan milikku
5 oktober 2002
Ini aku ingat2 lupa, tapi pasal perempuan juga la, masa KYS juga ni, dia pilih orang lain juga, aku steady rock la, last2 aku nampak dia sekarang sama lelaki cina, nda mau la aku menilai orang, pandai2 nya la hiup.
Semulia Bulan
Ramadan datang menjenguk
suara-suara hitam
tidak lagi kedengaran
angin sepoi-sepoi perlahan
Sahur menyapa aku dari belakang
senyumnya senyum indah
bangunlah isilah
ala kadar untuk bekal
Dingin air pagi
dingin lagi nafsuku
Damai hati ini
damai lagi puasaku
Ramadan menyeru
riang senyumlah
bukalah tanganmu, sambutlah salamku
diturunkan aku padamu
nikmat bulan semulia bulan
Nafsu pergi datang kembali
tutuplah pintu itu!
aku...bukan lagi hambamu
8 Disember 1999 (9.25pm)
Yang ini aku buat time ramadan 99, tangan terasa gatal, tulis2, keluar la yang ni. nda silap aku masa ini aku d shah alam, boring masa tu.
suara-suara hitam
tidak lagi kedengaran
angin sepoi-sepoi perlahan
Sahur menyapa aku dari belakang
senyumnya senyum indah
bangunlah isilah
ala kadar untuk bekal
Dingin air pagi
dingin lagi nafsuku
Damai hati ini
damai lagi puasaku
Ramadan menyeru
riang senyumlah
bukalah tanganmu, sambutlah salamku
diturunkan aku padamu
nikmat bulan semulia bulan
Nafsu pergi datang kembali
tutuplah pintu itu!
aku...bukan lagi hambamu
8 Disember 1999 (9.25pm)
Yang ini aku buat time ramadan 99, tangan terasa gatal, tulis2, keluar la yang ni. nda silap aku masa ini aku d shah alam, boring masa tu.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Mawar Larangan
Di mata mu ada tasik
Lemas aku di dalamnya
Di bibirmu ada kasih
Terbuai aku dengan sayangnya
Di hatimu ada cinta
Puas aku merasa madunya
Kasih kau umpama mawar kayangan
Mekar di taman larangan
Dilihat boleh disentuh jangan
Dirimu dilingkari duri-duri tajam
Andai ku genggam
Tumpah, darah-darah halangan
Ku relakan mengalir
Demi kasih
Walau tak kesampaian
1998
Hmmm yang ini aku kurang pasti untuk siapa, atau saja-saja. Pasal tahun 98 aku sedang belajar di ptpl ampang, mungkin awek lama dari sandakan, high school sweet heart la katakan. cinta yag tak kesampaian, baru2 ini aku balik sandakan kawan kawin, malam lepak di waterfront sandakan ka apa ka, sekali kedai tu ada pulak dia di situ, maka dengan gentleman nya aku pun pigi la bercerita tanya kabar apa patut. masih lawa, berdetup hatiku sekejap hahah tapi itu, kisah lama
Lemas aku di dalamnya
Di bibirmu ada kasih
Terbuai aku dengan sayangnya
Di hatimu ada cinta
Puas aku merasa madunya
Kasih kau umpama mawar kayangan
Mekar di taman larangan
Dilihat boleh disentuh jangan
Dirimu dilingkari duri-duri tajam
Andai ku genggam
Tumpah, darah-darah halangan
Ku relakan mengalir
Demi kasih
Walau tak kesampaian
1998
Hmmm yang ini aku kurang pasti untuk siapa, atau saja-saja. Pasal tahun 98 aku sedang belajar di ptpl ampang, mungkin awek lama dari sandakan, high school sweet heart la katakan. cinta yag tak kesampaian, baru2 ini aku balik sandakan kawan kawin, malam lepak di waterfront sandakan ka apa ka, sekali kedai tu ada pulak dia di situ, maka dengan gentleman nya aku pun pigi la bercerita tanya kabar apa patut. masih lawa, berdetup hatiku sekejap hahah tapi itu, kisah lama
Air Tenang Yang Kabut
Tenang air
Jangan disangka tiada buaya
Ayu wajah
Usah termakan oleh rautnya
Lautan dalam bolehku duga
Hatinya, siapa yang tahu?
Kailku panjang sejengkal
Dalam hatinya sehasta
Perutku kosong
Dapur tidak berasap
Laut tengkujuh
Laut gelora
Ku kail, ku kail juga
Diayun ombak, dialun nafsu
Dibuai belai senyummu
Berkurung merah, berselendang biru
Kau kah menanti hadir ku?
Pantai, pasirnya putih
Jeti kayunya usang
Putri seyummu menawan
Hadirmu satu kegembiraan
Syukurku hanya pada Tuhan
22 Mac 2002 (10.20 am)
Aku paparkan koleksi puisi ku dari awal ku berjinak dengan pena dan rasa, rambang tidak mengikut urutan masa, sewaal 15 tahun dahulu. Setiap puisi yang aku tulis, lucunya selalu mengambarkan situasi dan perasaan aku waktu itu, dan kebiasaanya kerana seorang perempuan haha. Puisi ini kalau tidak silap masa aku ambil diploma di KYS, aku 'jatuh suka' sama sorang perempuan ni, tapi jinak2 merpati, lepas dapat mau terbang pula, last2 aku biarkan terbang sama merpati lain hahaha
Jangan disangka tiada buaya
Ayu wajah
Usah termakan oleh rautnya
Lautan dalam bolehku duga
Hatinya, siapa yang tahu?
Kailku panjang sejengkal
Dalam hatinya sehasta
Perutku kosong
Dapur tidak berasap
Laut tengkujuh
Laut gelora
Ku kail, ku kail juga
Diayun ombak, dialun nafsu
Dibuai belai senyummu
Berkurung merah, berselendang biru
Kau kah menanti hadir ku?
Pantai, pasirnya putih
Jeti kayunya usang
Putri seyummu menawan
Hadirmu satu kegembiraan
Syukurku hanya pada Tuhan
22 Mac 2002 (10.20 am)
Aku paparkan koleksi puisi ku dari awal ku berjinak dengan pena dan rasa, rambang tidak mengikut urutan masa, sewaal 15 tahun dahulu. Setiap puisi yang aku tulis, lucunya selalu mengambarkan situasi dan perasaan aku waktu itu, dan kebiasaanya kerana seorang perempuan haha. Puisi ini kalau tidak silap masa aku ambil diploma di KYS, aku 'jatuh suka' sama sorang perempuan ni, tapi jinak2 merpati, lepas dapat mau terbang pula, last2 aku biarkan terbang sama merpati lain hahaha
malam ini
malam ini,
seperti malam2 yang lain,
aku bertemankan sunyi
hari ini.
seperti hari2 yang lain,
aku berlagukan sepi
dan saat ini,
seperti saat2 yang lain,
aku butuhkan nadi
seperti malam2 yang lain,
aku bertemankan sunyi
hari ini.
seperti hari2 yang lain,
aku berlagukan sepi
dan saat ini,
seperti saat2 yang lain,
aku butuhkan nadi
Sunday, March 28, 2010
emotionally paralyze
it has been a few years since i'm in a serious relationship. through these years i've met with a few lovable characters. they are a bunch of 'sight-for-sore-eyes-and-soul' kinda girls, but i cant get myself to commit. at first i thought it was them in particular, maybe there were something that i found in them that didnt tickle my fancy. i looked at them from a physical and emotional point of view. were there something wrong about their physical attractions, emotional expressions? but no, nothings wrong with them, it was me.
after a while, i started to look at me, and i found my answers. after being hurt so badly in two serious relationships, it left me with an emotional scar. i'm not truly a believer in post-traumatic after effects, not from a broken relationship that is. but i have to admit that is my problem right now. i cant bring myself to love and care for someone at a 80-100% capacity like i used to. i'm down at 20% or less and that scares me, i mean really bad. i dont think i can handle another break up from a serious relationship. and thats why i kept my distance, and not getting too attached from a possible girlfriend, and they hate me for it. (one girlfriend at one time mind you)
but i didnt do this to myself, i was betrayed and was hurt emotionally, and the worst thing is, i dont know how to solve it. till next time
after a while, i started to look at me, and i found my answers. after being hurt so badly in two serious relationships, it left me with an emotional scar. i'm not truly a believer in post-traumatic after effects, not from a broken relationship that is. but i have to admit that is my problem right now. i cant bring myself to love and care for someone at a 80-100% capacity like i used to. i'm down at 20% or less and that scares me, i mean really bad. i dont think i can handle another break up from a serious relationship. and thats why i kept my distance, and not getting too attached from a possible girlfriend, and they hate me for it. (one girlfriend at one time mind you)
but i didnt do this to myself, i was betrayed and was hurt emotionally, and the worst thing is, i dont know how to solve it. till next time
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)