it has been a few years since i'm in a serious relationship. through these years i've met with a few lovable characters. they are a bunch of 'sight-for-sore-eyes-and-soul' kinda girls, but i cant get myself to commit. at first i thought it was them in particular, maybe there were something that i found in them that didnt tickle my fancy. i looked at them from a physical and emotional point of view. were there something wrong about their physical attractions, emotional expressions? but no, nothings wrong with them, it was me.
after a while, i started to look at me, and i found my answers. after being hurt so badly in two serious relationships, it left me with an emotional scar. i'm not truly a believer in post-traumatic after effects, not from a broken relationship that is. but i have to admit that is my problem right now. i cant bring myself to love and care for someone at a 80-100% capacity like i used to. i'm down at 20% or less and that scares me, i mean really bad. i dont think i can handle another break up from a serious relationship. and thats why i kept my distance, and not getting too attached from a possible girlfriend, and they hate me for it. (one girlfriend at one time mind you)
but i didnt do this to myself, i was betrayed and was hurt emotionally, and the worst thing is, i dont know how to solve it. till next time
1 comment:
healing is a process, and time is its answer.
love is a free feeling, should not be constrain due to people.
why be scared of something that you know how it feels?
let go of pain, you would be free from the doubt in you.
just my 2 cents amasha.
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